Overcome anger the healthy way

Overcome anger the healthy way

Everyone gets angry now and then, but an important quality to have is being able to control that anger. Losing control of your temper can affect relationships both at work and in your personal life. Here are some tools that you can use to release your anger and calm yourself down without needing to yell at others.


(Flickr/Carlos Zapata)

(Flickr/Carlos Zapata)

Count to 10

When you feel yourself getting hotheaded, take a moment to stop and breathe deeply. With each deep breath, count a number. After 10 deep breaths, you will have calmed yourself, and you will be able to better assess the situation and find a solution that does not involve getting angry.


Talk it out

If you are angry with someone in particular, make time to sit down with them and calmly discuss the issue. Do not let this time turn into a screaming match. Have an outsider join the conversation as a moderator if need be. Have each person present their side calmly with no interruptions. Really listening to one another will help you see the other perspective and may lead to solving the problem.


Think about your words

It’s easy to lose control and spit things at one another that you don’t truly mean. To prevent this, take a breath before each sentence. Think about what you are about to say and make sure you do not say anything that you don’t truly mean. Yelling and cursing may get your anger out now, but it could damage the relationship later.


Take a break

If you’ve taken your 10 deep breaths and you are still angry, take a time out. Put a pause on the argument and walk away from it. Do something that will relax you in the meantime and then go back to the conversation later when you are less angry.


Express your emotions

Take note of what you are truly feeling. On the outside you may appear to be angry, but that might just be covering up for feeling hurt, sad, etc. Figure out what emotions are causing you to burst and express them by starting your sentences with, “I feel…”


Make a plan

If you know certain triggers that cause your temper to explode, stay away from them. If these triggers are unavoidable, plan out what you will do to keep yourself calm in that situation. Run through the plan a few times before facing your triggers so you know exactly what to do in that circumstance.


Don’t sit on it

No matter what, don’t hold in your anger. The longer you hold it in, the more it will build up, and the angrier you will get. Use whatever outlets you can to let your anger out; writing, drawing, talking.


You may not always be able to let your anger out at the direct source of it, but taking these steps can help reduce your anger and give you time to reevaluate the situation you are in. Always work your anger out however you can that is best for you, the source of your anger, and won’t ultimately cause tension and further problems.


What do you do to stay calm when you’re angry? Follow the conversation below, or on Twitter @VictoriaRimer


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